...Doesn't accept applicants...Ordinarily.

However, for a LIMITED TIME ONLY, here's how to apply: simply put $3125 into a ziploc baggy, place that into a cigar box, duct tape it closed, and bury it in your backyard, at least five (5) feet deep. After you've done this, one of our underground agents will be in touch with you shortly.

No, we're just pulling your tit. The TS doesn't accept any applicants (although the above may well get the Illuminati [tm] to contact you, it does nothing for us).

Back to the front!

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